Keeping in good spirits during the holidays can be challenging. My Decembers are difficult every year in both old and new ways, but also brings reflective moments and reminders of all there is to be thankful for.
That being said, here’s the good, the bad, and the whatever for my holiday update.
To start, I was graced with more funky health issues. For unknown reasons, I have recently been waking up with an extremely light head and very nauseated stomach that affects me throughout the day. I don’t think it’s vertigo again, as there isn’t any of the usual room spinning dizziness when I turn my head a certain way. It’s a strange “floaty” feeling in my head, blurry vision, and not able to walk a straight line for a bit after I stand up. The addition of nausea and lack of appetite aren’t too much fun either. Not knowing what’s wrong is especially disconcerting, so I may need to get an appointment with the doctor soon if there’s no improvement. Trying to research my issues online only scares me, and tends to inflict a sense of impending doom. Honestly, I’m not sure why I keep doing it.
Mom didn’t spend Christmas with us after all. I had my hopes up, but just like every year, she found an excuse to not spend the holidays with me. This year it was, “I can’t, I’m too crippled.” She has pain issues, but she isn’t much worse than when she visited over the summer. It was just Mom being Mom again, and choosing to be solitary and miserable as usual. I finally gave up on trying to get her to spend Christmas with us, and we brought my stepdaughter home for the holidays instead. It was nice to have someone not only willing, but happy to come to our house for a Christmas visit. The mini tree I put in the guest room was not lonely after all.
Mom will be 90 on New Year’s Eve, so I don’t know how many more chances I’ll have to spend Christmas with her, if any. Thinking about it makes me extremely sad, but such are the choices she makes for herself, and I have to accept that.
We had a pretty good, though mostly non – eventful holiday here at the tin can. It didn’t feel a lot like Christmas for a few reasons, but we still enjoyed the time the three of us spent together, being lazy and silly. It was “family time,” which is something I have had very little of in my life, so every bit of it means the world to me.
As usual, we didn’t do a lot of gift exchanging, but we were good with that. We took Kateline to get her hair done, and I gave Bobby a “Grateful Dude” hoodie I had found in honor of his new religion. (Dudeism.) I think he was pleased with it.
We were a little bummed that he had to work on Christmas, but he was able to come home from work early with a new buddy for me, which was a fun surprise.
One of my favorite parts of this month was helping our newly “adopted” daughter Codi get a much needed new cage for her 3 beautiful pet rats. She was so happy, and thanked me in the sweetest ways. Her babies did, too.
She gave me a gift from the rats that she said she found in their cage, and they had wrapped it themselves. It was a really cool salt rock, which I happen to love. I do believe my heart was successfully melted. Gestures that truly come from the heart never fail to turn me into a big pile of mush.
Anyway, the roller coaster ride of December and 2018 is almost over. It’s about time to see what 2019 has in store – and fingers are crossed for the best.